


Agree to Disagree

by necromancy_enthusiast



Series: Danganronpa Rarepairs [4]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Body Horror, Dialogue Heavy, Fluff and Angst, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Naegi Makoto, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Nonbinary Character, One Shot Collection, Other, Unhealthy Relationships, it's pretty minor though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:47:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27567730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/necromancy_enthusiast/pseuds/necromancy_enthusiast
Summary: Naegi cares about Komaeda and wants to help him, but ever so rarely even he wonders if he's really doing what's best.A series of one-shots which so far explore what their relationship would be like during various points in the series.
Relationships: Komaeda Nagito/Naegi Makoto
Series: Danganronpa Rarepairs [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2015047
Comments: 23
Kudos: 62





	1. -TABLE OF CONTENTS-

**Author's Note:**

> If you had told me back in 2013 that someday I'd be writing Komaeda/Naegi fanfic I would've laughed and asked what you were drinking, but here I am. Life really is mysterious. Anyway, this is a slight au where Komaeda doesn't do That Thing that got him expelled during his first year at Hope's Peak and thus meets Naegi and so on. It could be in a non-despair au or it could otherwise fit in with canon. Your choice.
> 
> EDIT: So what started off as a vague concept for a protagonist swap au became a shitpost-esque joke, but then I started taking it seriously and it evolved into this. I no longer have control over it, I’m just here for the ride now.

I am legitimately surprised this has gotten as far as it has since I struggle to finish fics... A lot. I think it’s partially because my new adhd medication may actually be working a bit.

Naegi is genderfluid and his pronouns rotate throughout different chapters because I make the rules. I’ll have titles for each chapter so it’s easier to browse without having to go back to the table of contents, plus I’ll try and figure out other things which would make that easier.

**Chapter 1: TABLE OF CONTENTS**

**Chapter 2: Agree to Disagree**

> **Summary:** _Naegi is called to see Komaeda in the nurse’s office after an unfortunate incident._
> 
> **Major characters and ships:** Komaeda/Naegi
> 
> **Location in canon:** Pre-DR1/DR3 Despair Arc

**Chapter 3: Reintroduction**

> **Summary** : _After a long separation due to the Tragedy, Naegi and Komaeda meet again under less than ideal circumstances._
> 
> **Major characters and ships** : Komaeda/Naegi, Kamukura
> 
> **Location in canon:** Between Ultra Despair Girls and DR2
> 
> **Content warnings** : Minor body horror

**Chapter 4: Conversations, Friendly and Otherwise**

> **Summary:** _Naegi makes progress in becoming more comfortable with herself, she and Komaeda share lunch._
> 
> **Major characters and ships:** Komaeda/Naegi
> 
> **Location in canon:** Pre-DR1/DR3 Despair Arc


	2. Agree to Disagree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naegi is called to see Komaeda in the nurse’s office after an unfortunate incident.

As Naegi sat at his desk trying to finish up his math homework, Leon, who sat next to him, groaned loudly. “This is stupid.”

Naegi looked up from his book over at Leon, who was resting his chin in his hands and staring down at his own book as though he was tempted to throw it out the window. “What’s the point of all this stupid math anyway? I can multiply and shit, why do I need to know geometry?”

“Well, I’m sure it’s good for _something_ ,” Naegi offered.

“Yeah, making me feel like a dumbass, I guess.”

“Well... Maybe think about how good you’ll feel when you finally get it.”

Leon thought on that for a moment before sighing. “Yeah, maybe. Guess I’ll keep trying for now, since I got nothing better to do anyway. Geometry is still dumb as fuck though.” He looked back down at his book and picked up his pencil, his eyebrows furrowing in concentration. “Fuckin’ shapes, man. Who cares?”

They heard a knock at the door and turned to look as it opened to reveal Mikan, one of their upperclassmen.

“Excuse me?...” she said. “I’m terribly sorry to bother you all during your study hall, I’m sure you’ve got a lot to do, but something happened.” She scanned the room, her eyes falling on Naegi. “Naegi?”

“Yes, Tsumiki?”

“Komaeda’s in the nurse’s office, and he wants to see you.”

Naegi heard Leon sigh and looked over at him just in time to see him roll his eyes. “What did he do now?”

“I mean,” Naegi began. “Maybe his lymphoma’s just acting up again. You shouldn’t jump to conclusions like that, Kuwata.”

“Naegi, come on. I know he’s your boyfriend, but he does dumb shit all the time.” He scoffed. “For all we know he tried to plant a bomb somewhere in the school.”

Naegi smiled anxiously. “Come on, he wouldn’t do _that._ ”

 _Right?_ he thought.

“I still don’t get what you see in that guy. One of these days he’s gonna get someone killed.”

“That’s not true, you worry too much.”

Leon stared at Naegi for a long moment with an extremely unimpressed look on his face. “Me and everyone else in our class, I guess.”

It was true, Naegi’s classmates hadn’t been shy about sharing their opinion on his and Komaeda’s relationship. Recently he’d learned that quite a few of them had spoken to Komaeda privately about their concerns, some in a more polite, civil way than others (Komaeda told him that Mondo had threatened him rather explicitly if he were to do something that harmed Naegi, which somehow was both surprising and completely unsurprising all at once).

“Well…” Naegi said before standing. “I shouldn’t keep him waiting.”

“Whatever floats your boat man,” Leon replied before grimacing back down at his textbook. “Stupid shapes…”

Naegi could feel the rest of his classmates’ eyes on him as he walked out of the room, but he chose to ignore them.

After Mikan led him to the infirmary, she opened the door and walked in, Naegi following suit. Inside he saw Komaeda sitting in the infirmary’s bed with bandages wrapped around his hands and face, which lit up upon seeing Naegi.

“It’s so good to see you,” he said.

Mikan spoke. “I guess I should leave you two alone, right? I don’t want to make things awkward, so I’ll just go... Sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize, Tsumiki,” Naegi said.

“Oh, you’re too nice Naegi, really! But thank you. I’ll get out of the way now,” she replied, and then she exited through the door before closing it behind her.

Makoto smiled a bit shyly at Komaeda before sitting on the chair next to the bed. “What happened, Nagito?”

“Oh, you know,” Komaeda said, gesturing vaguely. “I was trying to help my classmates out, and then my bad luck kicked in.”

Makoto’s smile became a bit more uneasy. “Oh, how?”

“Well you see, Souda has been working on this special kind of engine that he’s been all excited about for the past month. I figured it was a good opportunity to help them grow!”

“Oh.”

“So I got into the shed he had it locked up in to see if I could figure out how it worked. You never know when that kind of thing could be useful for inspiring people!”

“Oh…”

“But when I was tinkering around with it, it sort of malfunctioned, and, well. Here I am!"

"... Oh." Naegi stared at the other boy for a long moment, a bit afraid of hearing the answer to the question he was about to ask. "Exactly why did you think that would help?"

"I mean, you know strength comes through facing adversity and all that. So I figured if I could find out how it works, I could maybe use it to give my classmates an opportunity to grow when faced with that adversity! I didn't really have anything in particular in mind, it was just sort of something to file away for future reference, you know?"

Naegi wasn’t sure what to say, so he was silent. Komaeda stared back for a moment before the smile on his face grew melancholic.

“Are you disappointed in me?” he asked. “I know we disagree on this sort of thing, but I’m sure everything would’ve been fine in the end even if I had managed to get it to work out the way I wanted it to.”

“Not disappointed, just worried,” Naegi replied. “You could’ve gotten seriously hurt."

Komaeda waved him off. “Even if I’d gotten severely injured or well, killed, everything would’ve been fine in the end! It would’ve all worked out to help bring more hope! And besides, even if it was bad luck for it to blow up in my face like that… Quite literally, I got to see you in the middle of the school day, so it was worth it!”

“Nagito, we’ve talked about this before. I think your dedication to inspiring hope is admirable, but you go about it in the wrong way.”

Komaeda sighed, but he had a fond little smile on his face. “I know Naegi. But if something makes the world more hopeful, then I think just about anything makes it worthwhile. We’ve been over this a thousand times, can’t we just agree to disagree?”

Naegi stared at Komaeda silently. He was right, they’d discussed this a lot already, but no matter how hard Naegi tried to talk some sense into him, Komaeda refused to budge. Naegi knew he meant well, _he knew it_ , but he was so misguided and unwilling to listen to other perspectives on his actions. Naegi couldn’t help but think of what his classmates had told him in the months since he’d entered into a relationship with Komaeda.

_Why are you even with that creep?_

_He’s dangerous, Naegi._

_He’s not worth your time, he’ll just drag you down with him._

_If that fucker messes with you, he’s gonna end up laying in a dumpster in some dark alleyway._

Naegi didn’t want to believe it all. He _refused_ to. Komaeda wasn’t a lost cause, he knew it in his heart. He wasn’t going to give up on him just because it was difficult, especially after so many others had already.

... But sometimes, ever so rarely, he briefly wondered if he was doing the right thing. Was he _really_ helping Komaeda?

As Naegi sat there lost in thought, Komaeda wrapped his arms around him and slowly drew him close.

“Maybe my luck isn’t such a curse after all since it brought us together,” he said. 

He pulled away just enough so he could look Naegi in the eyes. “Actually, I've been thinking about it, and I wonder if our respective lucks cancel each other out when we're together."

"Huh?"

"You know, my luck cycle sort of gets evened out by your luck, and in the end there's no particularly good or bad luck. It's an interesting change of pace. Maybe… Even kind of nice. Being around you feels peaceful and grounding."

Naegi smiled. "I'm so glad."

"But hey, maybe I'm wrong! Maybe my bad luck is gearing up to _really_ make up for the good luck I had in meeting you. If that's true, then it sure is going to be incredible! I wonder what it could possibly be!" He laughed, and it lasted perhaps just _a bit_ longer than what felt natural. "But anyway, I can’t express how grateful I am to have you in my life. You’re the only one that’s ever really tried to understand me.”

Naegi was still for a moment before he tightened the hug. “Nagito…”

“I love you, Naegi. I really can’t say it enough. Thank you for loving someone as pathetic as me.”

Naegi pulled away so he could look Komaeda in the eyes. “Don’t say that kind of stuff.”

Komaeda chuckled. “If that’s what you want.”

“Well yeah, but it’s not good to say that sort of thing. All it does is make you feel worse about yourself.”

Komaeda was silent for a moment, staring at Naegi with that same easy smile as he seemed to consider whether or not it was worth arguing with him. In the end, he apparently decided it wasn't.

"So," he began. "Is it still okay if I come over to your place for dinner after school tomorrow?"

"Yes, but you have to promise to be on your best behavior. Nothing like what you did today, alright?"

"Of course! I'm really looking forward to it." Komaeda sighed. "I haven't been in an environment like that since my parents died, and I always wondered what it was like to have siblings."

"Well, I hope you like it."

"I'm sure I will!"

"Oh, uh...Your bandages. Do you think you'll still have them on tomorrow?"

"Probably, why?"

"Well, then I guess we better come up with something to tell my family when you meet them. The truth might kind of give them a weird first impression."

_A bad first impression._

"Oh, maybe you're right. But that won't be a problem, I have plenty of stories from when I got hurt before! I'll tell you a few, and you can decide which is best."

Komaeda wasn’t a bad person, he was misled. He just needed some guidance and patience… That was all.

_Right?_


	3. Reintroduction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a long separation due to the Tragedy, Naegi meets Komaeda again under less than ideal circumstances.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems as though we have reached Komaegi Round 2. Crazy huh.

Naegi didn't think the newest group of refugees taken in by the Future Foundation would be anything unusual. They were former students of Hope's Peak, so there was a fairly good chance Naegi would recognize them. But when Naegi was shown the students' photos, they nearly dropped the paperwork they were holding.

Class 77-B, some of the students in the grade directly above Naegi. Some of the most prominent members of Super High School Level Despair.

From the reactions of Naegi’s superiors, it seemed as though they didn't recognize who these students were. That was definitely for the best, but there could only be so much time before they found out. So Naegi acted quickly, gathering some of their classmates as well as a few other sympathetic parties, and together they all came up with the plan to transport Class 77-B to Jabberwock Island, which had been abandoned since not long after the Tragedy began and housed the experimental Neo World Program.

Experimental though it was, it was their last chance. Either that, or face execution.

Naegi didn't want that. The world was already so cruel and unforgiving as it was, why add to it? So that's part of why they went through with all this. Another part was that they’d known Class 77-B, some had even been friends. Naegi was so tired of standing by as their friends died needlessly, they wanted to do something, _anything_ to stay all the death and misery in the world. They wanted to save each and every member of Class 77-B just as much as the last, but when Naegi visited the cells where the former students were being held, they found themself immediately deciding on who they’d see first.

The guards escorted Naegi into the holding room, and lo and behold, there he was.

"Nagito!"

The boy in question, who was sitting cross-legged on the miserable little double bed his cell contained, looked up, his eyes widening slightly in recognition. Naegi was quick to dismiss the guards, and afterwards, they took the keycard they’d been given and slid it through the scanner on the cell door. Once a sound confirming the successful unlocking of the door played, they opened it and walked inside.

"Naegi," Komaeda smiled gently. "It's been so long."

Naegi smiled back. "It has, huh?" They sat on the bed and crossed their legs as well, facing Komaeda.

Komaeda ruffled Naegi’s hair affectionately. "You've grown so much, you look good in a suit."

Naegi scratched the back of their head sheepishly. "Thanks."

"I've missed you so, _so_ much. I've thought about you a lot since this all began."

"You have?"

"Of course! I've spent a lot of time worrying about you too. I watched the killing game pretty closely, you know." Komaeda rested his hands on Naegi’s shoulders. “Words can't describe how proud I am of you. It hurt a lot when you had your memories of me erased and I had to watch you fight for your life. I kept wondering if you'd be next… That was some of the deepest, darkest despair I’ve known yet. But in the end, you defeated it and became the embodiment of hope! See, I was right. From despair springs hope, you're living, breathing proof of that."

"Well… I guess you're not entirely wrong. Calling me the embodiment of hope is really going overboard, though."

"Oh, but it isn't." Komaeda’s smile took on a more sentimental quality. “I always knew there was something incredible about you. I mean, you _do_ have your talent, it’s so utterly astounding compared to mine, but I sensed something special within you. I never could have guessed it would be _this_ though.” He moved a bit closer to Naegi and used his uncovered hand to tilt their chin up. “The super high school level hope... Beautiful. You’re this broken world’s saving grace from the pits of despair. Every time I think I couldn’t fall any more deeply in love with you, I’m proven wrong.” He stared at Naegi silently, and they were expecting him to do _something,_ but it didn't come.

Komaeda sighed like a lovelorn school girl. "I want _so badly_ to kiss you right now, but…"

"Please don't say you don't deserve it."

"I don't."

"But you've kissed me before, remember?"

"Yes, and it was idiotic of me to think that maybe it wouldn't be egregious to do so."

It had been only a few days before the last time they saw each other. They'd been together for months and still Komaeda refused despite admitting to wanting it, but finally, _finally,_ he decided to 'allow himself the indulgence'. It made Naegi think that maybe they were getting somewhere, but now that had all been wiped away. Komaeda's inferiority complex was even worse, months of progress gone. Another tragedy wrought by Junko drowning in an ocean of them.

"But you want to, I want to… _Please_ Nagito. I've missed you so much and worried for so long."

Komaeda's smile disappeared. "I still don't get why a super high school level hope would want anything to do with a super high school level despair… But you're right, it's something I've wanted for a long time. I suppose if you _really_ don't mind me tainting you..."

"You're not 'tainting me'."

Komaeda simply chuckled, and with that, his smile returned before he slowly leaned in to kiss Naegi. It was a chaste kiss, but Naegi still found their face heating up ever so slightly, and they wrapped their arms around Komaeda's waist to bring him in closer.

But soon enough, it was over, and Komaeda pulled away. "Thank you for that," he said.

After smiling back at him silently for a moment, Naegi looked down at Komaeda's left hand, which was covered by a mitten. "Why are you wearing that?"

Komaeda held the hand in question up. "Oh, this? You wanna see?" With that, he pulled the mitten off, and when Naegi saw what was beneath, they thought they were going to be sick, recognizing the false painted nails immediately.

"Nagito, _what happened?"_

"Oh, it's pretty straightforward. After Enoshima's death, me and the others got ahold of her body and figured we shouldn't let it go to waste. Kuzuryu took one of her eyes, and. Well, I won't bore you with more details. Fill them in for yourself, if you want."

Naegi stared at Junko’s hand, absolutely shocked. How in the world were they supposed to respond to something like _this?_

"Do you hate me now?" Komaeda asked. "Oh, it would be devastating if you did. But I wouldn’t be mad."

Naegi looked Komaeda in the eyes and shook their head. "No, I don't hate you. I never could." They inhaled deeply before taking the mismatched hand into their own. They almost shivered out of revulsion, but managed to suppress it. “I love you, Nagito.”

Komaeda's smile dropped from his face. “You do?”

“Of course.”

Komaeda stared at Naegi for a long moment with an expression they couldn’t quite name. Confusion? Annoyance? Ambivalence?

But then, his face went blank, and Komaeda took (what was technically) his hand back and rested it over Naegi’s collarbone, the false nails lightly digging into the exposed skin of their neck.

“I could kill you, you know,” he said, just barely increasing the pressure he applied with his thumb and forefinger to Naegi’s skin, but sometimes subtlety was the most effective way of getting things across. “Would you hate me then?”

The pit in Naegi’s stomach deepened, but they managed to stay calm, not breaking eye contact with Komaeda. “No, but you wouldn't anyway. You’re just trying to drive me away because you don’t want me to get hurt by associating with you."

Komaeda stared at them for a long, _long_ moment with that same distant expression, and Naegi stared back. But finally, he sighed and pulled his hand away, crossing his arms. “You know, you don’t make much sense sometimes.”

_Talk about the pot calling the kettle black._

“So you're really going to go through with this willingly?”

Komaeda’s eyes darted away from Naegi. “Yes, I will. I think I’ve spread about as much despair as I can like this, and soon enough hope will overtake it.” A long moment passed, but he didn't so much as move.

“Nagito?”

Komaeda didn’t respond.

“Nagito, say something. Please?”

“Why do you stay when everyone else always leaves?”

“Because I love you.”

“ _Why?"_ His blank expression cracked into one of indignance as he looked at Naegi again.

"Because you can be so kind and genuine and sweet and funny. I love how fluffy your hair is and how gentle your smiles can be. I love that despite how much hurt you've been through, you don't give up. And you've done bad things… But I still love you and want to help you be happy. You deserve it just as much as anyone else." They rested their hand on Komaeda’s cheek. “Please believe me, Nagito. I would never lie to you."

It looked like Komaeda wanted to say something, but instead he wrapped his arms around Naegi and pulled them in for another kiss.

When they broke apart, Komaeda spoke. "I'm curious about the Neo World Program. All they said was something about virtual reality and us being rehabilitated, what does that entail?"

Naegi sighed deeply, taking time to gather their thoughts before replying. "Basically, your conscience is uploaded to the virtual reality created by the program. The way you're going to be rehabilitated is… It's going to replace all your memories from when you started high school to right before you go in with the good memories you make in the program's virtual reality."

Komaeda was silent for a long moment. "So I'll forget everything about you?"

Naegi nodded.

"The day we met? Our first date, our first kiss, the kiss we just had now… All of it?"

"Yes."

After a moment of silence, Komaeda began to laugh quietly.

“Of course," he said. " _Of course._ I knew it was too good to be true, my luck let me escape execution but in exchange… I forget the only person that's ever really given me a chance even after seeing my true nature." Slowly, his laughter grew louder. "There it is! That’s the despair I’ve been looking for! Isn’t it just incredible!” Naegi was getting a bit intimidated as he continued, but then they saw tears falling from Komaeda’s eyes. “Of course! You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I won’t even remember you. This is my punishment!” The tears continued to flow, and it didn't take long for him to begin hyperventilating slightly. Naegi wrapped their arms around Komaeda and rested their chin on his shoulder, rubbing his back soothingly.

“I’m so sorry Nagito, but that’s the only way this can work.”

Komaeda returned the gesture, hanging onto Naegi as though his life depended on it.

“It’s okay... It’ll be okay," he said. "From the depths of despair springs hope, that’s just how things are. This’ll all work out for something better in the end... Like…” he took a long, deep breath to compose himself. “Will you be there when it’s over?”

“Yes, I’ll be helping however I can.”

“So I’ll get to meet you again?”

“Yeah?”

Komaeda quieted slightly. “How many people get to meet someone they love twice? See, it’ll all work out in the end…” he said, although he seemed as though he was trying to convince himself more than anything. “It’s fine, everything’s fine.”

Naegi felt tears welling in their own eyes as they kissed Komaeda on the forehead.

When the time came to transport Class 77-B to Jabberwock, Naegi wanted to stay with Komaeda on the ship, but the others had absolutely refused it, citing concerns for their safety (they couldn't help but wonder how everyone would react if they knew Naegi had gone into Komaeda's cell alone and unguarded). So they stayed with their classmates while Komaeda was in the cargo hold with the others, their thoughts preoccupied with what was to come.

As soon as the ship docked, Naegi moved to wait near the stairwell hat led to the cargo hold. Once Komaeda was led out by armed guards, they hurried over to him, smiling as though the two were meeting up on their walk to school. Komaeda smiled back and offered his right hand, which Naegi took into their own. “I think… I'd like to revel in this one bit of happiness, as selfish of me as it is. Before everything changes forever again.”

“It’s not selfish.”

Komaeda just smiled at them.

As they walked along, Komaeda almost seemed as though he was a normal boy holding hands with his crush. If Naegi forced everything else from their mind, and if they could keep Komaeda’s other hand out of their line of sight, then they could pretend too. It was a tiny frivolity in the grand scheme of things, couldn’t the two of them have just this? Komaeda gently ran his thumb over the back of Naegi's hand, and Naegi’s grip grew firmer.

… It was probably an odd sight, seeing the person everyone called the super high school level hope holding hands with a member of super high school level despair, but Naegi couldn't bring themself to care.

All too soon, they entered the building housing the Neo World Program, and then the chamber with the pods. Slowly, the two unlinked hands, Komaeda choosing a pod as Naegi spoke with various people; their former classmates, technicians, and so on. When everything was finally sorted out and ready to go, they made their way back over to Komaeda.

"As much as I’d rather not forget you… This does mean I get to fall in love with you all over again.” He smiled. “I guess this is goodbye, at least for now. But when I wake up, be sure to greet me, okay? Even I’m not stupid enough to not know I'd fall in love with you a second time."

"Please don't call yourself stupid."

"Well, I'm not going to remember any of this anyway, so I feel like promising that would be lying. I'm sorry, Naegi."

"I'd tell you not to get in any trouble, but you wouldn't remember that either, huh?"

"Guess not!"

"Well, then could you call me by my given name? It feels kinda weird to have a boyfriend who's pretty much only called me by my family name for so long."

"I still don't think I'm worthy of that, but since these are unusual circumstances… Why not." His smile grew as he took Naegi's hand into both his own. At this point, Naegi found their unease more manageable, so it only caused them a hint of disturbance. "Goodbye, Makoto. I love you, and I know I will again."

Naegi smiled sadly. "I love you too. I'll see you later."

With that, Komaeda let go of Naegi's hand and turned towards the pod. After he laid down in it, he smiled and waved at Naegi with what technically was now his left hand. Naegi waved back and slowly, reluctantly turned away. After they took a few steps in the opposite direction, they heard a voice speak up.

"How sentimental."

Naegi turned towards the direction the voice had come from to see Izuru Kamukura sitting on the rim of their pod.

“Oh, hello Kamukura.” They paused for a moment, grasping for something to say before finally remembering what they’d wanted to ask earlier. “Can I ask you a question?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“Why did you go so quietly? Didn’t you used to be someone else?”

“I was, yes. A boy named Hajime Hinata.”

“And you didn’t exist before he started attending the reserve course?”

“No.”

“So if everything from that time gets erased, won’t you kind of just... Stop existing?”

“Perhaps.”

“Doesn’t that bother you? You could’ve easily evaded capture.”

“Yes, but I saw little point.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was promised that despair and chaos would make things more interesting, but even that grew dull in the end. Life seems so utterly pointless."

Naegi stared at them for a long moment, their face a mix of confusion and sadness. “So you gave yourself up because you find life boring and meaningless? That doesn’t make much sense.”

Izuru was silent for a moment. “How about I turn that back on you?”

“Huh?”

“Nagito Komaeda... A boy with such a warped worldview that his logic makes sense to none other than himself. A boy that was dangerously unpredictable even before he was brainwashed by Enoshima. Why do you bother with him? That’s what makes no sense.”

Naegi felt like they’d been asked that a thousand times, and their estimation probably wasn’t far off, so they answered without a second thought. “Because I know he means well. He’s been through so much and so many people have given up on him. He thinks he’s unworthy of love or companionship and that he deserves all the bad things that have happened to him, but I want to show him he’s wrong.”

“It seems your efforts were in vain."

"No effort to help others is ever in vain. A lot of things that were out of our control happened, and we'll have to start over from scratch, but I know I can help him."

"You have quite a bit of faith in him, and yourself. I found your illogical approach fascinating at first, but I'm starting to find it tiresome. It's obvious you don't want to accept failure."

Naegi shook their head. “This isn’t about me.”

"Then explain."

"I believe anyone can change for the better, and I want to help him. I love him, and he deserves happiness."

Izuru’s blank stare bored into Naegi, who would be lying if they claimed it wasn’t unnerving, but they stood steadfast until Izuru spoke.

“If you keep giving pieces of yourself away, then soon there will be nothing left. Do you think he won’t just keep taking and taking until you have nothing more to give?”

Naegi was silent, simply staring at the other person.

"Predictable." Izuru said, looking away.

“Wait.”

Izuru looked back at Naegi.

“You’re wrong, he doesn't just 'take and take'. It’s true, he isn’t always easy to understand or be with, but he’s not a bad person. He wants the world to be a better place, and he thinks that bad things have to come first because that’s how it’s usually worked out in his life. He’s been through a lot, and his worldview is pretty maladaptive, but that’s not his fault. I’m not saying all the bad things he’s done are okay because of that, but it should be taken into consideration when you’re judging him. And he can change, just like anyone else."

"But will he? No one will change if they don't want to."

“I think he will want to, or at least with time he will.”

Izuru again stared at Naegi silently for a long while before finally speaking. "If that’s what you want to believe, then I don’t see the point in trying to convince you of otherwise any longer." With that, they laid down in their pod, arranging their long hair so that it wouldn't spill over the rim. "I'm ready."

Naegi didn't know what to say, so they went with their instinct. "Goodbye, Kamukura."

Izuru didn't respond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can hear 18-year-old me, deeply undignified, asking why on earth I'm doing this to Naegi and all I, at 25, have to say for myself is 'well fuck man, it's interesting. Also shut up, you still haven't recognized that Ishimaru being killed off was a massive waste of a potentially incredible character arc and that the writers obviously didn't care enough to think much about what to do with him after chapter 2. You know NOTHING.'
> 
> Also,  
> Naegi: Babe  
> Komaeda: Fellow associate


	4. Conversations, Friendly and Otherwise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naegi makes progress in becoming more comfortable with herself, she and Komaeda share lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m anxious to post this chapter for, shall we say, multiple reasons. But here ya go anyway.

As Naegi sat on one of the benches in the courtyard of Hope’s Peak, she briefly brushed the back of her hand over her skirt in an attempt to get some stray lint off of it. Then she fiddled with her tie, straightening out the little bow, and pushed some of her hair, which she’d been trying to grow out slightly to see how she felt about it, out of her face (she should probably get some barrettes or something, she made a mental note of). After all that was done, she folded her hands on her lap and began to slightly kick her feet back and forth.

It was only a couple of weeks before with the support of her loved ones that Naegi had worked up the courage to request permission to wear the girl’s uniform as well as the boy’s. She’d had to make her case to the principal, but it went a lot better than she’d thought. She’d gone through every argument and objection Principal Kirigiri could make that she was able to think of and rehearsed her response to each, but in the end, she’d barely had to use any of them.

However, she got cold feet and hadn't actually worn it to school before today. She'd put it on several times in the morning, but ultimately changed back into the boy’s uniform before leaving the house. It made her feel like a coward, and she would spend most of the first class period of the day berating herself internally. But finally, this morning she’d thrown the girl’s uniform on and made sure she was out of the house before she had a chance to think about it too much.

She avoided looking anyone in the face on the way to school as much as she could, but couldn't help but occasionally glance around when she entered school grounds. A few of her schoolmates gave her odd looks, but most either didn’t notice her or simply gave her quick glances, and no one said anything off color.

She’d discussed this previously with her own classmates quite a bit, so she got reactions ranging from neutral to very positive, a lot of the girls complimenting her on how she looked. Chihiro told her that she was proud of how far Naegi had come, especially considering that only months before she'd barely been able to spit it out when she first came out to Chihiro and Gundham, the latter of who, in some strange stroke of prescience, had taken Chihiro and Naegi under his wing (much to their bewilderment at the time). His explanation was that the two underclassmen, quote, ‘contained a dark presence akin to his own’. This only made sense to Naegi after she and Chihiro both realized they, like Gundham, were nonbinary. She still hadn’t quite figured out how he knew, though, and his cryptic vernacular made it hard to make sense of his explanation.

All and all, everything had gone well thus far, but there was one last person she was waiting to see the reaction of.

Someone who was walking out of the main building and into her line of sight right now.

“Nagito, over here!”

Komaeda, who was carrying something wrapped up in a large handkerchief in one hand, looked at her and waved before walking over to her. “How are you?”

“Good, you?”

“Good.” Komaeda sat down next to her, setting what he’d brought down on his lap and untying the handkerchief to reveal two bentos and a couple of pairs of disposable chopsticks, handing one of each to Naegi.

“Thanks,” she said.

Komaeda brushed a bit of her hair behind her ear. “You look nice in the girl’s uniform,” he said.

Naegi felt herself blush slightly. “Thanks." She looked away, frowning. "You really don’t think I look like a boy in a skirt?”

“Of course not. You’re not a boy, anyway.”

Naegi smiled again and looked back at him. “For now.”

Komaeda laughed. “For now.”

She felt a bit silly. He’d been supportive of her so far, why would this be any different? Especially since her worries over what he’d think when she told him about all this in the first place turned out to be unfounded.

_“... So yeah, sometimes I’m a boy, but it changes every now and then.” A pause. “You can break up with me if you want, I won’t take it personally.”_

_“Why would I do that?”_

_“I mean, I know it’s really weird, and I’m not even sure if you’re interested in girls. Wouldn’t it be uncomfortable to be with someone who’s a girl sometimes?”_

_“It’s not weird. And, well, that sort of thing is a lot more complicated than a lot of people think. I have to admit I haven’t thought about it a whole lot myself yet, but I know this doesn’t change how I feel about you.”_

Naegi opened her bento and tasted the food Komaeda made.

“This is really good,” she said as she smiled.

“It’s nothing special, but thank you.” He looked up at the sky, azure and cloudless. “It’s a lovely day, isn’t it? We probably wouldn’t be out here enjoying it if we could still have lunch together in our homerooms.”

“Aha... Yeah.”

The circumstances surrounding that had been interesting, to say the least. Naegi’s class wasn’t fond of Komaeda, and hadn’t been since certain events that occurred at the beginning of the school year. Komaeda had meant well, but clearly the members of Class 78-A (sans Naegi, of course) didn’t agree, and their sentiments on him ranged from annoyance, to fear, to suspicion, to downright hatred. For whatever reason, Mukuro seemed to have a special animosity towards him, often staring when he wasn’t looking. If looks could kill, Komaeda would’ve been _long_ dead.

All the same, they tolerated him at first for Naegi’s sake. However, odd things started happening.

The relatively new laptop Chihiro brought to class inexplicably got fried while she was working on it despite how well she took care of her electronics. All the lights in the classroom were blown out and took several hours to repair, concurring with the fire sprinklers going off and soaking everyone and everything in the room (other than Naegi and Komaeda, who happened to be sitting in an area that allowed them to get off rather lightly compared to everyone else). A baseball came hurling through the window and barely missed nailing Leon in the head. It didn’t take too long for everyone to start looking for patterns, and given Komaeda’s record, some were quick to put him in the hot seat (Leon especially, who at the time was having a bit of an anxiety attack due to being somewhat shaken from the experience of having an object that was very hard going very fast nearly slam into his skull, insisting that Komaeda had it out for him).

It was around that time when Naegi thought it’d be best if she went to visit Komaeda in his homeroom during lunch instead.

While Naegi’s class disliked Komaeda, Komaeda’s loved Naegi. Even Fuyuhiko and Hiyoko showed Naegi some favor by being a bit less abrasive to her than they were with most people. It was nice, but at the same time, she couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty about it given Komaeda’s status with her own class. But he didn’t seem to mind, saying he was happy that his class liked Naegi so much. Some of his classmates even told her that they thought she was good for Komaeda (although a couple expressed it as them being glad Naegi was around to keep him in line more than anything).

But it turned out that similar things occurred in the homeroom of Class 77-B. From a series of unlikely events that were Rube Goldbergian in scope culminating in Peko’s sword becoming unsheathed and pinning Hiyoko to the door by her sleeve to one of Gundham's hawks flinging itself at Souda completely unprovoked (apparently they were _still_ arguing about that), very odd things seemed to happen to the others, a few insisting that it was mostly when Naegi and Komaeda were both around for substantial amounts of time.

And so, after some of the more superstitious members of the class started wondering if those two observations had any correlation, they asked Naegi and Komaeda to go back to Class 78-A's homeroom for lunch in order to test their theory. Naegi still thought everyone was blowing it out of proportion, but she went for their sake. And certainly her classmates would’ve cooled down a bit since then, right?

Wrong.

It proceeded to turn into an odd game of hot potato, the two getting sent back and forth between homerooms until a discussion was held by some of the members of Class 77-B and Class 78-A. Ultimately, they came to an agreement: Naegi was allowed in Class 77-B’s homeroom, but for limited amounts of time when Komaeda was present (much to the disappointment of many of Komaeda's classmates). Komaeda was not allowed in Class 78-A’s room under any circumstances, and physical force would be used to uphold this rule if necessary (Naegi had mentioned how she thought some of her classmates insisting that clause be added was uncalled for, but she was mostly ignored). Thus, the two lucky students were essentially banished from their own homerooms whenever they wanted to have lunch together.

 _“Looks like you're gonna have to go somewhere else if you wanna have lunch with your cursed boyfriend, Naegi."_ Souda told her after the agreement was finalized. “ _Nothing personal, I like you better than him. Your classmates better realize how good they have it, not being stuck with a freak for a lucky student.”_ Naegi went on to say that Komaeda wasn’t a freak, but Souda didn’t bother listening for long.

As troublesome as the whole affair had been, it wasn’t so bad in the end. It really was a nice day, after all.

“You remember when I said I think our respective lucks sort of cancel each other out when we’re together, and then neither of us have particularly good or bad luck?”

“Yeah.” It still didn’t sound particularly plausible to Naegi, but at this point, she’d grown a bit tired of challenging it. “What about it?”

“Well, sometimes it seems more like we shield each other, and then my bad luck spreads outwards to anyone around us.”

Naegi thought on that for a moment, but in the end had no idea what to say.

“Oh,” she eventually settled for.

"It seems to vary with time, and I haven’t been able to figure out a pattern yet.”

_There is no pattern._

“I think you might be looking for something that isn’t there, Nagito. What's the point in stressing over a bunch of coincidences?” She went back to her lunch.

“I disagree, I think it’s very important to think about. Don’t tell me you’re not concerned about the well-being of others, Naegi.”

She looked back over at Komaeda with a puzzled expression and a mouthful of rice. “What?” she asked, a bit garbled.

“So far nothing noteworthy has happened-”

“What about Souda getting attacked by Tanaka’s hawk?”

“That’s pretty minor compared to some of the things he’s been through, he got hit by a truck once in our first year and walked away pretty alright.”

“ _What?_ ”

“-Anyway, I wonder how long it’ll be until things ramp up.”

Naegi blinked at Komaeda’s complete dismissal of a subject she found to be far more worthy of explanation than this vague, nebulous concept he and apparently a lot of their classmates were so convinced of, but in the end decided perhaps it was best that she didn’t know the details. “Nagito, I really, _really_ think you might be reading too much into this.”

“I’m not. My 'talent' may be completely unremarkable, but I understand how it works.” He gave Naegi a blank, distant look. “And perhaps you’d be complicit if such a thing were to occur.”

“Huh?”

“It’s not like you to be so inconsiderate, Naegi.” He leaned in towards her ever so slightly. “I thought you were better than that.”

“Wait, wait, wait, hold on. You’re going way too fast, Nagito. I need time to think about what you’re saying.”

“If you think it’ll help, then by all means, go ahead.”

Naegi sighed and put her lunch down as she concentrated, Komaeda continuing to stare at her with that stormy expression, which she tried to ignore.

A moment passed before she spoke again. “So what you’re saying is... You’re scared of people getting hurt because our luck sort of deflects onto others when we’re together.”

“Yes.”

“And you’re scared because you’re happy.”

“The two only have an indirect correlation. The fact that you make me happy is independent of the effect our combined luck has.”

Normally a comment like that would’ve made Naegi happy in turn, but the situation didn’t leave much room for that. “I think there’s more to it than you say, and maybe you’re not even aware of it. You say that good and bad things happen to you intermittently, but being around me shields you from that, and as a result it moves on to affect other people.”

“Yes, exactly.”

“So really, you’re saying your happiness is harmful to others.”

“In a way, I suppose.”

“You're making this connection because you're expecting something bad to happen anyway since you think bad things tend to happen when you’re happy.”

“That’s how it usually works out.”

“I don’t think so, I think you’re looking for patterns to make sense of all the bad things that have happened to you and the people around you.”

“There _is_ a pattern. What else could it be?”

Naegi was silent. She could’ve said that the world didn’t make sense, that bad things happened for no reason all the time and all too often, they happened to people who didn’t deserve it. That was just how things were, as much as she and everyone else might wish differently.

But she knew Komaeda wouldn’t hear it. He probably wasn’t ready to hear it, anyway.

“We’ve gotten way off track. You think people grow through adversity, right? So if your bad luck really is spreading out to our classmates, then aren’t we helping them?”

Komaeda glanced away, his eyebrows furrowing in concentration and resting a hand on his chin. After awhile, he looked back at Naegi. “Maybe you’re right.” He smiled. “The other students are far more capable than me, so perhaps me being around you is helping them even more! By dealing with my bad luck, they’re becoming even stronger, and I’m being useful! You’re so smart, Naegi.”

Naegi shrugged, smiling nervously. “So in the end this is good for everyone, and you don’t have to feel guilty, alright?”

“I suppose not, but it’s still odd, something working out so well for me _and_ others. It feels… Surreal. Like I’m going to wake up and it’ll all be gone.”

“This isn’t a dream, I’m not going anywhere.”

Komaeda smiled and ruffled her hair.

Being around Komaeda was usually pleasant and fairly simple, but every now and then, things like this popped up, and dealing with them was tense, but no one was perfect. She was sure there must have been things about her that didn’t exactly enthuse Komaeda, but wasn’t caring for others about accepting them as they were, flaws and all?

His idiosyncrasies were just… A bit unusual. It was nothing she couldn’t handle.

“Speaking of dreams, do you have any, Naegi?”

“Well, I’m not sure what I want to do with my life, and I’m kind of scared of locking myself into one path if something doesn’t work out or I change my mind.”

“I can understand that, but you should have faith in yourself. I think you can do anything you put your mind to.”

“I’m not that great.”

“Oh, but you are!” Komaeda set his lunch down next to him and took her hands into his own. “You’re absolutely amazing, Naegi! I know you’ll bring so much hope into the world no matter what you do!”

She smiled again. “Thanks, Nagito.” She thought on it more for a moment. “I guess... Maybe someday I’d want to start a family.”

“That’s lovely, you’d make a wonderful parent.”

“What about you?”

He frowned slightly. “Me?”

“Yeah.”

He let go of her hands. “Oh, I don’t have any dreams.”

Naegi frowned in turn. “Nothing? Not even one?”

He smiled. “Nope!”

“Why not?”

“Why have dreams when you can never achieve them? I’d be making myself miserable if I longed for things I can never have.”

Naegi stared for a moment. “Why do you think you can never achieve any of your dreams?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m nothing special, my talent is worthless. All it does is blow me around on a wind of causality, it would definitely interfere with anything I might set my mind to.”

“Nagito, we have the same talent.”

“ _Yes_ , and we’ve been over this before. Your luck is noteworthy, and mine isn’t. It’s like how different people can do the same thing but one is better at it than the other. Yours is akin to a professional violinist, and mine is like a five year old playing a kazoo.”

Naegi paused, thrown off by the odd simile. “That’s... An interesting way of putting it. But I don't think it’s true. Well, I’m still not really convinced about this whole luck thing anyway, but let’s put that aside for now. You shouldn’t write yourself off like that. I know how much being disappointed hurts, but at least you tried, you know? It wasn’t all for nothing, you would’ve grown regardless. And who said you’re doomed to fail anyway?”

“That’s just how things work out. And untalented people don’t have any hope of being extraordinary anyway, so why bother?”

And it was then that Komaeda gave Naegi an in, one she certainly wasn't going to let fly away into the sunset.

“So, you’ve given up hope?”

Komaeda frowned. “I…”

“I thought that was one of the things you believed in most.”

“It is.”

“But dreams are hopes for the future, and what you were saying seems like a pretty strong conviction for you.”

Komaeda’s frown deepened, and he crossed his arms before looking down and off to the side. Naegi could practically hear the gears turning in his head as they sat there for quite some time in silence.

“Nagito?” she eventually said. Komaeda didn’t look at her, and after a pause, she cleared her throat awkwardly. “Will you at least consider changing your mind?”

His response was a bit delayed, but eventually, he spoke. "I don't know. It's been so long, just thinking about it is scary."

Naegi rested her head on Komaeda's shoulder, and he looked at her. "How about you start with something small? Dreams don't have to be big lofty goals that'll take your whole life to accomplish."

He sighed. "I don't know, I'll think about it."

"That's all I ask."

Another moment passed in silence. “Maybe…”

Naegi sat up to get a better look at him. “Did you think of something?”

He was quiet, ambivalence obvious on his face before he finally shook his head. “No, forget it. It’s stupid anyway.”

“No it isn’t, you can tell me.”

Komaeda chewed on his lip for a short while. “No. Maybe someday.”

Naegi sighed quietly. “Alright, but if you ever change your mind, I want to hear it, okay?”

Komaeda nodded reluctantly.

She scratched the back of her neck and glanced away. “So... Um... How’s your day been going?”

This led the conversation in a lighter direction, and before too long, it was about ten minutes until their next class period.

“Ah, I’d better get going. Ishimaru and I are working on a project together and you know him, he isn’t a fan of tardiness.”

Komaeda chuckled. “He certainly isn’t.”

“Thanks again for lunch, I’ll make it next time, okay?” she said, handing him her empty bento.

“I’m looking forward to it.”

She stood. “You coming with me?”

“I think I’ll stay out here for a couple more minutes.”

“Alright, I’ll see you later.”

As she walked back towards the main building, Komaeda watched her.

“Dreams are hopes for the future...” He continued to watch her wistfully until she walked through the doors and vanished from his line of sight. “... Maybe she’s right, and we could... Eh, probably not. But maybe there’s something else I can hope for.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve only had the genderfluid Naegi headcanon for *maybe* a month as of this writing, and now I can’t imagine life without it. I refuse to try.
> 
> Komaeda: Aha, I’ll never be able to achieve anything I would theoretically want to, so why bother trying? :)  
> Naegi: Uh... Uh... Hope?  
> Komaeda: 👀👀👀 Hope you say? 👀👀👀


End file.
